Let’s call her Ramona. She was a second-year student at the
seminary where I was teaching—bright, attractive, straight-A student,
well-organized, outgoing and friendly, manager of the campus bookstore,
outstanding reports from her field education supervisor. She had all the gifts
and graces for effective pastoral ministry. One day she came into my office and
confided that she was facing a tough decision. Her interview was coming up with
her Board of Ordained Ministry where she would be considered for ordination.
Should she be honest and tell them she was lesbian? Or keep silent, trust the “don’t
ask, don’t tell” practice of the Board, sacrifice her integrity, and proceed
with the ordination process? Her call to ordained ministry was deep and strong.
But so was her desire to be true to herself and open with the Board—and all the
world. After a time of sharing, tears, and prayer, she left my office with the
decision still unmade.
Later, it became known that
she had leveled with the Board and given up the hope of ordination.
She would finish seminary, then pursue other career options. Her call had
been squelched, and her gifts and graces lost to the United Methodist Church
because of its policy of refusing ordination to homosexuals.
Twenty years later I met a
woman at a United Methodist General Conference, a member of the Reconciling
Parents Network, whose daughter was also a lesbian. She told me that Ramona was
her daughter’s partner of some years, and that Ramona had done well in another
profession. Her call to ministry had persisted, however, and she had now
decided to resign her position and seek ordination in another denomination.
Thank God, Ramona’s gifts and graces for ministry could now be expressed and utilized
by God and the church—sad to say, however, not the United Methodist Church.
During my 27 years of seminary teaching, I encountered variations
of Ramona’s story any number of times. How many qualified, competent, dedicated
leaders we have lost! Not only pastors like Ramona but laity as well. I grieve
for these young people. I grieve for the church. I believe God is grieving,
too. I want to translate this grief into action by helping to change church
policy and practice so that all who are called to love and serve Christ may be
welcomed, blessed, and equipped to do so.
