The primary reason for my involvement with
Reconciling Conversations is that I was personally invited to participate. As
is true with most things in life, however, the more fully explained reason is
more complex.
There
are two facets that formed my perspective. Since my early young adult days, I
have had close friends who were gay and lesbian. Neither did I consider them
any different, nor did I care for them any less, than I did my straight
friends. They were simply my friends.
The
more formative situation—the one that forced my hand at making a conscious
decision and publicly taking a stand—began eight years ago, in July of 2006. While
I was serving as senior minister of a church in Asheville, the Director of
Music Ministries, who had been employed by that congregation for over 20 years,
asked if he and his wife could come by the parsonage on a Sunday afternoon. As
they sat on the couch holding hands, they shared with me that he was gay. A
gentle, kind, and very devout man, Steve had known for some time, but finally
accepted that he could not live a truly fulfilled—and faithful—life if he
continued to hide such an important part of who he is.
He
also shared with me that he would like to make his proclamation publicly. We
had several more conversations before deciding that the next step should be to
share his decision to come out with the Chair of the Staff Parish Relations
Committee and then with the full committee.
The
process that evolved over the next year was complex, but I have never been more
proud of a community of faith! Simply put, after many meetings and much
conversation, both the Staff Parish Relations Committee and the Administrative
Council unanimously and publicly supported Steve and expressed their strong
commitment to his continuing his professional role at the church. They did so
knowing that there would be repercussions, and as it happened, a significant
number of families did leave the church, and the church budget took a big hit. But
the church defined itself as being faithful to the teachings of Christ and
proclaimed itself as a congregation where “all people are welcome.”
While
the church struggled in the first years, I believed then, and it is now proving
to be true, that the church would grow stronger over time and that it would
find itself being much more faithful to the Gospel of Christ.
